How to Teach Introverts - Tools for Connection
Most teaching tools are geared towards extroverted children, leaving about a quarter of your children -the introverts- behind.
However, with the right awareness and understanding of introversion it is possible to teach a mixed group of extroverted and introverted children. With this awareness and understanding you can create a learning environment that lets all children thrive.
There is a common misconception about the introvert-extrovert spectrum. As an educator it is important for you to understand that these traits are not about capabilities. When an introverted child does not participate the way the loud extroverted children do, that doesn’t mean that they’re not fully taking in everything that’s happening. Take my son Arthur: He will not sing out loud in class or during choir practice. He may move his lips to mouth the words, he may not even do that. He may hint at the movements of a dance, or simply observe from the sidelines. But don’t be fooled. When he comes home from school, he belts out the new songs he learned and he dances through our hallway taking up all the space he needs. At school he has absorbed everything by observing, that’s his way of learning. Later on, when he’s in a safe environment, he does it all.
Introversion and extroversion are defined by how children respond to and process stimuli, how they best recharge, and where they feel most comfortable but they tell you little about what they are or aren’t capable of in terms of learning or performing.
I am here to remind you that introverted children in your classroom are neither incapable nor un-interested, nor are they ignoring you. So the next time, when part of your students are behaving differently from the majority in your class, it may just be that they’re the introverted group.
“I see you, I respect you, and I am glad you are part of my class, just as you are. ”
Next I am sharing my tools for working with introverted children. When I meet a class of kids for the first time I really want them to trust me. In my experience I can gain trust in three stages:
I observe the children in their natural behaviour. Are they shy? Are they loud? Are they quiet and present? You only need a moment of observation, so be present when the children walk into the classroom or as they get ready for class. This will give you an idea of who these children are and how you can best interact with them.
The second strategy is to mirror the child: If a child is shy and doesn’t approach me, then I keep the same distance that they keep with me. If a child is fourthright and loud then I match their energy when I greet them and talk to them. It’s allows me to practice empathy for each and every child in their particular behaviour and this allows them to observe some of their own behavioural attributes outside of themselves.
The third key is the offer. When a child comes to me with lots of energy, I offer them a job that matches the energy, something to get their energy moving. If a child is shy and won’t even look at my face, then instead of ignoring that child, I’ll offer them the a task without even looking at them. This gentle communication doesn’t even need words. It’s just a gesture, an offer to get them involved. The tool of Interacting with a child without using eye contact, interacting with a child while allowing them to be positioned behind you is super powerful. It is the opposite of ignoring them. It tells the child: I see you, I respect you, and I am glad you are part of my class, just as you are.
I will leave you with the story of Carlotte: When I’m not looking straight at three-year-old Charlotte in class, I notice that she is watching me. She’s not afraid of looking at me, she’s just afraid of eye contact, because eye contact is a strong stimulus, can feel like too much pressure. I also notice how long she pays attention before she looks away. This gives me insight into how interested she is in being in th activity.
If Charlotte gives me 20 seconds of her attention –without eye contact–, then I know that when I communicate with her I have about 20 seconds to make my point, to give her the information that she needs to succeed in the activity before she recoils back into her shell.
During the first times in my classes, I only observed Charlotte out of the corner of my eye and allowed her to stand next to or behind me. But I never stopped offering her tasks or pointing out interesting things to her. I never stopped taking her seriously as a full member of my class. and over time we were both rewarded. She gained trust and the skills of interacting and speaking freely with others translated directly from our classroom to her home. Today Charlotte is a courageos young woman who happily and confidently participates in my group activities.